


Organ Donor

by verity



Category: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer
Genre: Bodyswap, Humor, Multi, Romance, mmf, season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-12
Updated: 2009-05-12
Packaged: 2017-10-05 15:54:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verity/pseuds/verity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Body switching, don't ask don't tell, and some slayer-on-soulless-vampire experimentation? Bring it on! Set during episode 4.16, "Who Are You"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Organ Donor

**Author's Note:**

> _This is for you, Hannah &amp; Ferdinand. And for imaginarycircus, who is entirely responsible for the Xander/Riley/Faith-in-Buffy's Body threesome. From there, of course, the Spike/Buffy-in-Faith's body was a natural conclusion._

Having stolen Buffy's body, it seemed natural to Faith that she poach her boyfriend, too. That was how she ended up inside the frat house, standing just outside Riley's room. She paused for a moment, though, her hand resting on the door handle. Some oddly familiar sounds were emanating from the room, and she briefly wondered if B had managed to escape after all. Either way, things were about to get interesting.

She couldn't help but smile when she opened the door. It wasn't the smile that belonged on this face. "Why _hello_, boys."

Judging by Xander's position, her cover wasn't the only thing about to get blown.

* * *

"What are you doing?" she hissed. God. This night just kept getting worse. Her mother was probably dead, she was uncomfortably aware of all of Faith's bodily functions, and now Spike was here.

"Rescuin' you, love. Now keep your hands clear, or this is going to hurt."

The chains dropped to the ground, and Buffy was left looking up at Spike, axe and all. Somehow, she couldn't bring herself to give up the game. "I thought you were on Buf- B's side? Aren't you afraid I'm gonna… stake you?"

The corner of his mouth turned up. "Ain't got no side, Slayer. Are you going to begrudge me my little bit of fun?" He tugged at her wrist. "Come on. We've got some demons to kill. And I hear you like to make it _bloody_."

* * *

There was a lengthy silence.

Xander spoke first. "I.. Buffy... it's not what it..."

Her smile looked funny. "Did I say I had a problem with what it looked like?" Xander swallowed audibly, and Buffy stepped forward to pat him on the shoulder. "The only thing I don't understand," and her lower lip suddenly took on a heretofore unknown level of poutiness, "is why you didn't invite _me_."

Riley couldn't understand it. This was going all wrong. But the part of him that had receded in terror as the door swung open was already responding. "Buffy, I--"

Buffy pressed a finger to his lips. "Sssh," she murmured gently. "Don't worry. I'll take it from here." There was that smile again. "You prepared to obey orders, soldiers?"

"Yes, ma'am!" replied Xander, already turning toward her.

This was all wrong. But Riley nevertheless found himself raising his hand in a salute. "Yes, ma'am."

She licked her lips. "That's just what I like to hear."

* * *

He liked this Slayer, for all that he knew Faith would stake a vampire in the back as soon as look at him. It added a little spice to a night on the town.

Her style was somewhat of a disappointment, though, Spike observed as she dropkicked a few vamps in succession. Almost as good as Buffy, now, but where was the bloodlust? Where was the fire? He sighed. Times like this, he missed Dru. Life was certainly never boring when she was around.

As the last vamp met the dust, he came up behind Faith and perched on a tombstone. "Where's the fire, Slayer? Big sleep suck it out of you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, you- you dirty vamp."

Spike cocked an eyebrow. "Just reinforcin' my opinion, pet."

She scowled and turned to face him. "I'm not your pet!"

"That's more like it." He grinned. "Knew you'd be fun. More than Buffy, at any rate."

The slayer slapped him so hard that he fell off the tombstone. In another second, she had him pinned to the ground, the sharpened wood pressing against his heart.

Spike sighed. "Ah, knew it would come to this. You goin' to put the stake in me now or make me wait for it?"

Faith gave him a long, considering look.

"You're just like _her_," he complained bitterly. "Never goin' to put me out of my blood-filled-sippy-cup misery, just usin' me for an extra pair of hands to do your dirty work. Might as well just get it over it, I'm as soulless as any of those critters you just dusted."

She let out a wordless grunt of frustration, and he steeled himself for the blow.

Faith kissed him.

And he prayed for death.

* * *

"I'm the patient," Buffy said breathlessly. "Riley, you can be the nurse. And Xander... I want you to be the organ donor."

She fluttered her lashes with unbridled sensuality. Xander found it difficult to stand. But Riley was already moving to check out her throat with his stethoscope, and Xander managed to get to his feet. Looking at Buffy and Riley, naked before him, he felt a combination of lust and terror. How had this happened?

He knew very well how this had happened, of course. You can take a man out of the military, but you can't take the don't-ask-don't-tell out of a man.

Xander wondered, as he prepared for the operation, whether they all did this back in the barracks.

* * *

He just lay there like a dead fish. "What?" she whispered. Why was she whispering? She could feel shame coursing like a heat wave through her body, and would have flushed, if she'd still been in her own skin.

"Don't get me wrong, Slayer. You've got quite a nice set of T and A there, but I'm sorry." Spike looked at her with what she presumed was feigned regret. "I rather prefer the original model."

She slapped him again. Oh, that smile. She was humiliated and practically dripping with arousal.

There was only one solution to this problem, of course.

Buffy got to her feet and ran.

* * *

The pale light of dawn was just peeking up over the windowsill. Faith sighed. She knew what that meant. Time to get to the airport and lay her hands on a one-way ticket to Mexico. On second thought, perhaps somewhere less sunny.

"All right, boys," she said affectionately, running her hands through their hair. "Best be getting home, I've got a long day ahead of me."

They looked at her through heavy-lidded eyes. Xander, at least, had not been aware that Slayer strength and endurance translated in bed to... other things. "Buffy..." Xander began. "This was, um, wow?"

Faith smiled lazily. "Just between you and me, all right? I got a reputation to keep up."

"Don't forget me," said Riley from behind her, as he pressed against her. B had good taste in some things, she had to admit that.

"Trust me, honey," she told him, "I'm gonna remember this night for the rest of my life."

 

EPILOGUE  
"This is really awkward," Xander said over his fourth beer at the Bronze. The rest of the Scoobies nodded in solidarity. They didn't know quite what had happened, but not even Anya had the imagination to come up with what had actually gone down.

Xander met Riley's eyes. Oops. He looked away, and found Buffy and Spike sharing a similarly awkward exchange.

He drained his glass. "Hey, guys?" he said weakly. "You want to get a pitcher?"


End file.
